Have you ever had a conversation with someone that makes you want to bang your head against a wall?
I had one this morning. A good friend of mine is dating this guy, who I hate with a rather intense passion. So lets just call him Douche. Because that's what I call him when I'm not speaking to my friend.
Anyway, my friend has been dating Douche since this summer. So...about 6 months or so at my count, maybe 7. He's your stereotypical Jock. Terrible to her friends, thinks very highly of himself, looks down at the others around him, and has an IQ that is less then that of a rock. He's insulted me and a friend of mine to our faces, and my friend never does anything to stop it. We've also asked around and it turns out that none of her friends seem to like him. I think the words I heard were "He's just mean, and really rather rude."
...and then she gets on the phone with me today and says this.
"Well things have been Douche, so I think once I graduate I may just move in with him and his friend."
This gave me pause.
You've been dating someone for 7 months. And you already want to move in with them? And then she said this:
"Things are changing so fast! I'm going to be a married women!"
And that was really just what sent me off the edge. Including the time before we were dating, I've known my boyfriend longer then my friend has even KNOWN Douche, she's been dating him for less time then that even. I would never consider getting married.
What the hell. Slow down, I really don't understand you're motivation. I'm trying. I really am, but my god. You're digging yourself into a hole that's only going to lead you to heartache and pain. I want to help, I do. I really do.
But I can't make everyone listen can I? She needs to open her ears to what all of us are saying....
BAH
Monday, January 4, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Fast and furious movie reviews
Hey, so I've hit up a few of the holiday movies, and here's my reviews so far:
Up in the Air: Very timely, well done movie. Don't know if I'd call it the best movie of the year, but each actor delivered an outstanding performance. Less of a comedy, more of a well timed social commentary. Good for someone wanting to see a great movie, not for someone seeking 2 hours of an escape from real life. I give it an A.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Took my 8 year old brother, he enjoyed it very much. It had trouble keeping my attention, but there were some entertaining moments. I did not feel as though it was a waste of money, though I wouldn't go see it more then once. As always, the chipmunks were adorable, and lessons were learned. Nice for the young crowd. If you liked the first one, you may like this one. If you didn't well...you won't like this one any better. I give it a C +
Avatar: I have very few things to say about this movie. Poor script, even worse plot. Very predictable, very much regurgitated. However, the movie itself is so beautiful, that you almost forgive everything wrong with the plot. Worth seeing just for the experience, and the world of the movie. B-
Sherlock Holmes: I. Loved. This. Movie. It kept my attention the whole time, it was very engaging. However, your brain must be active, or you might get lost. Outstanding performances from all involved, Robert Downey JR is at the top of his game. I can't wait to see what he does with the rest of his career. RDJ and Jude Law have a fantastic chemistry, so much so that it's worth paying the ticket price just to watch them interact. The only flaw of the movie is Robert Downey JR's chemistry with Rachel McAdams. Both individually gave very strong performances, however, I don't feel as though they ever clicked the way they should have when together on screen. I give this an A.
I'll update if I see any more. Which I may.
PEACE OUT! LOVE! Later ya'll!!
Up in the Air: Very timely, well done movie. Don't know if I'd call it the best movie of the year, but each actor delivered an outstanding performance. Less of a comedy, more of a well timed social commentary. Good for someone wanting to see a great movie, not for someone seeking 2 hours of an escape from real life. I give it an A.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Took my 8 year old brother, he enjoyed it very much. It had trouble keeping my attention, but there were some entertaining moments. I did not feel as though it was a waste of money, though I wouldn't go see it more then once. As always, the chipmunks were adorable, and lessons were learned. Nice for the young crowd. If you liked the first one, you may like this one. If you didn't well...you won't like this one any better. I give it a C +
Avatar: I have very few things to say about this movie. Poor script, even worse plot. Very predictable, very much regurgitated. However, the movie itself is so beautiful, that you almost forgive everything wrong with the plot. Worth seeing just for the experience, and the world of the movie. B-
Sherlock Holmes: I. Loved. This. Movie. It kept my attention the whole time, it was very engaging. However, your brain must be active, or you might get lost. Outstanding performances from all involved, Robert Downey JR is at the top of his game. I can't wait to see what he does with the rest of his career. RDJ and Jude Law have a fantastic chemistry, so much so that it's worth paying the ticket price just to watch them interact. The only flaw of the movie is Robert Downey JR's chemistry with Rachel McAdams. Both individually gave very strong performances, however, I don't feel as though they ever clicked the way they should have when together on screen. I give this an A.
I'll update if I see any more. Which I may.
PEACE OUT! LOVE! Later ya'll!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I would just like to say
I bought myself a pretty scarf today, and I was feeling a little bit guilty about spending money on myself when I had been spending SO MUCH to buy other people gifts...
However I passed Archaeology, and therefor...I think I owe it to myself. I never thought I would have passed it, my god, it had to be close.
Truth be told, I probably owe it to my professor, who most likely curved my grade more then it rightfully should have been, but I mean...the class was out of 50 points! What the hell!! That is not nearly enough. Like, throw us a bone dude.
Well...I mean, I guess he did given the fact that he curved the grades like crazy.
Bah, whatever. I passed it. Hell. Yes.
Lets celebrate. And hope to god the next semester is better!
In other news, I seem to be suffering from an INTENSE love of Karl Urban. He's SO HOT. And SUCH A FRIGGEN GOOD ACTOR!!! Like, respect sir. He's apparently a total nerd as well, which only wins him double the points, cus I mean...to be that hot and a super nerd? You're like a rare, perfect human being.
Seriously.
I just sat through a movie called The Truth about Demons, and it was TOTALLY insane, but because of Karl, I was totally invested. Props dude. Props. Like, that's not something you normally get with an "Action" actor, but like...I think he may come from Theatre...either way, he was totally invested in his character the whole time. Because of his commitment to the script, I stayed interested. He's really everything a good actor should be.
...That's really all I've got for the day. If I don't post later...MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Peace out!! LOVE!! MUAH!
However I passed Archaeology, and therefor...I think I owe it to myself. I never thought I would have passed it, my god, it had to be close.
Truth be told, I probably owe it to my professor, who most likely curved my grade more then it rightfully should have been, but I mean...the class was out of 50 points! What the hell!! That is not nearly enough. Like, throw us a bone dude.
Well...I mean, I guess he did given the fact that he curved the grades like crazy.
Bah, whatever. I passed it. Hell. Yes.
Lets celebrate. And hope to god the next semester is better!
In other news, I seem to be suffering from an INTENSE love of Karl Urban. He's SO HOT. And SUCH A FRIGGEN GOOD ACTOR!!! Like, respect sir. He's apparently a total nerd as well, which only wins him double the points, cus I mean...to be that hot and a super nerd? You're like a rare, perfect human being.
Seriously.
I just sat through a movie called The Truth about Demons, and it was TOTALLY insane, but because of Karl, I was totally invested. Props dude. Props. Like, that's not something you normally get with an "Action" actor, but like...I think he may come from Theatre...either way, he was totally invested in his character the whole time. Because of his commitment to the script, I stayed interested. He's really everything a good actor should be.
...That's really all I've got for the day. If I don't post later...MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
Peace out!! LOVE!! MUAH!
Friday, December 18, 2009
So...
SO
I finished a play! It feels ridiculously rushed though. And it ended in an entirely different way then I had originally wanted to. I mean...the main character decided to stay with Lucifer, which I think is a pretty ballsy thing to do, but...she wasn't done living.
Not that you can't live in heaven. I just feel like you'd have no real purpose, you'd just be chilling. At least with Lucifer she felt like she had a purpose.
He's lonely, what can I say.
And a shit ton more human then God could ever be. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, it's not my favorite thing in the world, and I suppose I'll keep working on it, but...I really want to move on to something new. I've been holding on to Step Into the Dark for a WHOLE semester. I want to keep going, but I need a refresher. I need something new to work on. I bit of a LOT more then I could actually chew with this play, and now that it's done, I don't really know how I feel.
Round 2 comes next semester. Hopefully I can do better. We'll see. I'm really excited for my playwriting class, especially since it's actually like...a CLASS. I'm excited for next semester in general, actually. All theatre classes. Hopefully it'll go better next semester.
In other news, I know I've lined up at least one acting gig for next semester, which is awesome, because it's NOT through the Department so...fuck yeah. Any time I don't have to work with the Department, I'm happy. I'm working on someone's final project, which is hard core. No IDEA what it is yet, since they haven't sent me a script, but...whatever. At least I'll be working. I'm glad people remember me/think of me. That'll be handy in the future.
I also played a part in a web series last week. Very fun. Also very painful. I don't think I'll ever be a stunt women, if I do decide to ever do that...I need to work out a LOT more. Like a LOT more. I've never been in more pain in my life, and it was just from working on falling...
Seriously painful shit, that's all I'm saying.
TIL NEXT TIME! LOVE!!
I finished a play! It feels ridiculously rushed though. And it ended in an entirely different way then I had originally wanted to. I mean...the main character decided to stay with Lucifer, which I think is a pretty ballsy thing to do, but...she wasn't done living.
Not that you can't live in heaven. I just feel like you'd have no real purpose, you'd just be chilling. At least with Lucifer she felt like she had a purpose.
He's lonely, what can I say.
And a shit ton more human then God could ever be. If that makes any sense.
Anyway, it's not my favorite thing in the world, and I suppose I'll keep working on it, but...I really want to move on to something new. I've been holding on to Step Into the Dark for a WHOLE semester. I want to keep going, but I need a refresher. I need something new to work on. I bit of a LOT more then I could actually chew with this play, and now that it's done, I don't really know how I feel.
Round 2 comes next semester. Hopefully I can do better. We'll see. I'm really excited for my playwriting class, especially since it's actually like...a CLASS. I'm excited for next semester in general, actually. All theatre classes. Hopefully it'll go better next semester.
In other news, I know I've lined up at least one acting gig for next semester, which is awesome, because it's NOT through the Department so...fuck yeah. Any time I don't have to work with the Department, I'm happy. I'm working on someone's final project, which is hard core. No IDEA what it is yet, since they haven't sent me a script, but...whatever. At least I'll be working. I'm glad people remember me/think of me. That'll be handy in the future.
I also played a part in a web series last week. Very fun. Also very painful. I don't think I'll ever be a stunt women, if I do decide to ever do that...I need to work out a LOT more. Like a LOT more. I've never been in more pain in my life, and it was just from working on falling...
Seriously painful shit, that's all I'm saying.
TIL NEXT TIME! LOVE!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Mmm...manifesto-y goodness...
When I say goodness, it kind of makes it sound like I know what I'm doing when it comes to writing a manifesto.
I don't.
I'd just like to clear that up right now. I have no idea how to write a manifesto. Or what my world view is. Well...I dunno, I guess I do kind of know what my world view is...I didn't even really start thinking about it until my Directing teacher was like "Lets write manifesto's!!" and I was like "Oooh, big word! Lets do it!"
Okay, that's not actually what I said, but I do rather like the word Manifesto. Its got an epic sort of feel.
SO...anyway...what's my manifesto? I don't know yet? What's my world view? I think that may be sort of complicated. We'll boil this down to...um...why I do theatre?
I do theatre (And this is a conversation that I've had many times with professors) because I have a deep urge to connect with people. When you start out in a theatre major (Or any sort of major involving art I assume) one of the first questions you're asked, is "What defines art". Everyone has a different definition for art. That's why its art, because its something different for everyone. That's why it's so beautiful. The question shouldn't be "What is art?" the question should be "What is art to you?" because in the end, YOU are the only one who's view matters. Maybe not in the grand universal sense, but still.
My definition of art, is anything that the human soul connects to. If it disgusts you, makes you swoon, makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you want to get out and do something, or makes you want to sit down and think, then its art. I don't think it needs a grand definition, or needs to come in the form of some sort of epic unrecognizable thing in an exhibit somewhere. As long as someone, somewhere makes and honest and emotional connection with it, then it's art. Art should make you think, it should make you breath, it should make you hold your breath, it should make you feel. Doesn't matter what the feeling is, as long as there is one.
What is my world view? I think the world exists for us. We could debate for hours over what the point of life is, but I think it's pretty simple. The point of life is to be human. To be around other humans. To move someone, to be with someone, to love, to hate, to feel. Art is an extension of human existance. We exist so that we can connect with other people. This world would be vastly different without us (I mean, duh). I'm fascinated with the connections that we make every day. You can never really know the effect you have on other peoples lives, and I think that's something we need to take stock of more often. We can heal with a smile, and kill with a few words. I don't think that many people understand that. Human connections are very intense, and we need them in order to live our lives. Without each other, life would be awful. I don't want to live in a world without other people. I just don't. As a person, I need very much for people to like me. It's a problem some times, this I admit to openly. I'm always worried about what other people are thinking. I just want to be accepted, that's all. But its because human contact gives me comfort. I feel great empathy towards other people as well, which is something that I feel the world could use a lot more of. I don't think we feel for each other very often any more. We ask each other "How are you?" on an almost daily basis, but do we ever really want to know? Start honestly asking, and start honestly listening. I think it'd open up a lot of doors and windows. ^_^
I want to see plays about how humans connect, and the effect we have on each others lives. I know that's pretty much what all theatre is about, but still...I think that's what matters most. The people.
This was really rambling, I know, but I hope you were able to pick SOMETHING out of it. Maybe. I mean...it's complicated stuff...
I'll post again tomorrow. ^_^ In the mean time, I'm going to keep working on this manifesto for my directing class.
PEACE OUT! MUCH LOVE! MUAH!
I don't.
I'd just like to clear that up right now. I have no idea how to write a manifesto. Or what my world view is. Well...I dunno, I guess I do kind of know what my world view is...I didn't even really start thinking about it until my Directing teacher was like "Lets write manifesto's!!" and I was like "Oooh, big word! Lets do it!"
Okay, that's not actually what I said, but I do rather like the word Manifesto. Its got an epic sort of feel.
SO...anyway...what's my manifesto? I don't know yet? What's my world view? I think that may be sort of complicated. We'll boil this down to...um...why I do theatre?
I do theatre (And this is a conversation that I've had many times with professors) because I have a deep urge to connect with people. When you start out in a theatre major (Or any sort of major involving art I assume) one of the first questions you're asked, is "What defines art". Everyone has a different definition for art. That's why its art, because its something different for everyone. That's why it's so beautiful. The question shouldn't be "What is art?" the question should be "What is art to you?" because in the end, YOU are the only one who's view matters. Maybe not in the grand universal sense, but still.
My definition of art, is anything that the human soul connects to. If it disgusts you, makes you swoon, makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you want to get out and do something, or makes you want to sit down and think, then its art. I don't think it needs a grand definition, or needs to come in the form of some sort of epic unrecognizable thing in an exhibit somewhere. As long as someone, somewhere makes and honest and emotional connection with it, then it's art. Art should make you think, it should make you breath, it should make you hold your breath, it should make you feel. Doesn't matter what the feeling is, as long as there is one.
What is my world view? I think the world exists for us. We could debate for hours over what the point of life is, but I think it's pretty simple. The point of life is to be human. To be around other humans. To move someone, to be with someone, to love, to hate, to feel. Art is an extension of human existance. We exist so that we can connect with other people. This world would be vastly different without us (I mean, duh). I'm fascinated with the connections that we make every day. You can never really know the effect you have on other peoples lives, and I think that's something we need to take stock of more often. We can heal with a smile, and kill with a few words. I don't think that many people understand that. Human connections are very intense, and we need them in order to live our lives. Without each other, life would be awful. I don't want to live in a world without other people. I just don't. As a person, I need very much for people to like me. It's a problem some times, this I admit to openly. I'm always worried about what other people are thinking. I just want to be accepted, that's all. But its because human contact gives me comfort. I feel great empathy towards other people as well, which is something that I feel the world could use a lot more of. I don't think we feel for each other very often any more. We ask each other "How are you?" on an almost daily basis, but do we ever really want to know? Start honestly asking, and start honestly listening. I think it'd open up a lot of doors and windows. ^_^
I want to see plays about how humans connect, and the effect we have on each others lives. I know that's pretty much what all theatre is about, but still...I think that's what matters most. The people.
This was really rambling, I know, but I hope you were able to pick SOMETHING out of it. Maybe. I mean...it's complicated stuff...
I'll post again tomorrow. ^_^ In the mean time, I'm going to keep working on this manifesto for my directing class.
PEACE OUT! MUCH LOVE! MUAH!
Because I haven't updated in almost a year.
Short post, cus I want to take a nap, but I promise I'll come back later and post. I've just been so busy!! And there have been SO many ups and downs in my life lately!! Both theatre related and life related!!
AND THE PLAY I'M WRITING NEEDS TO BE DONE IN LESS THEN A WEEK!!!
AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Satan is hard to write, very confusing creature he is. But then...that's why he's interesting isn't it? ^_^
I'll be back later to discuss my play, my manifest that I have to write for class, and life in general. I promise.
PEACE OUT!!
AND THE PLAY I'M WRITING NEEDS TO BE DONE IN LESS THEN A WEEK!!!
AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Satan is hard to write, very confusing creature he is. But then...that's why he's interesting isn't it? ^_^
I'll be back later to discuss my play, my manifest that I have to write for class, and life in general. I promise.
PEACE OUT!!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
General ramblings...
Do you ever get the feeling that you're drowning? Or that...you're standing in this pool and the water is slowly rising, and as it gets higher and higher, it gets harder and harder to breath. All you want to do is grab something, and pull yourself up but there's nothing in your reach. You scratch and claw at the walls that surround you, but no matter what you do you just slide back off.
I always tell people I'm okay. And I am okay, I promise I am.
Except I'm not. Its nothing as severe as depression, or anything like that. I really am fine, I just...I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I know where I am, and I'm happy where I am, I just...sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right. That I'm holding all these threads in my hands, and they keep getting yanked out, and as hard as I try to hold on, I can't so I just let them go. I want someone to grab me by the arms and help pull me out of the water, but I'm not anyone elses responsibility. I won't let myself be. My personal shit is nothing compared to what other people are going through, why take up space with my problems.
I desperately want reassurance, but I don't want people to have to feel like they need to help me, how fucked up is that? I don't understand my thought process 90% of the time.
I just don't want to be a disappointment, and no matter what I do, I feel like I am. Like I'm not living up to my potential. Or something...
In the end everything will be okay, I just need to drag myself back into the light. Thats all. But right now, I just want to throw things. Stomp around, get all my damn anger out, and stop being such a damn failure.
I know this is really random, but as much as I dislike my ex, and all the things that go with him....I miss having a boyfriend. Not because of the actual boyfriend bit...but because I miss the contact. Sometimes I just want someone to sit, and hold me, and let me know that they're there. Just...there. With you. No expectations, no nothing just...the warmth that comes from that. Knowing that someone else is supporting you. I desperately miss that, and some days I'm terrified I'll never get that ever again. It leaves one with a bit of an ache.
So...hug a friend today. Like give them a good hug. Just for me. And all will be right with the world.
I always tell people I'm okay. And I am okay, I promise I am.
Except I'm not. Its nothing as severe as depression, or anything like that. I really am fine, I just...I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I know where I am, and I'm happy where I am, I just...sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right. That I'm holding all these threads in my hands, and they keep getting yanked out, and as hard as I try to hold on, I can't so I just let them go. I want someone to grab me by the arms and help pull me out of the water, but I'm not anyone elses responsibility. I won't let myself be. My personal shit is nothing compared to what other people are going through, why take up space with my problems.
I desperately want reassurance, but I don't want people to have to feel like they need to help me, how fucked up is that? I don't understand my thought process 90% of the time.
I just don't want to be a disappointment, and no matter what I do, I feel like I am. Like I'm not living up to my potential. Or something...
In the end everything will be okay, I just need to drag myself back into the light. Thats all. But right now, I just want to throw things. Stomp around, get all my damn anger out, and stop being such a damn failure.
I know this is really random, but as much as I dislike my ex, and all the things that go with him....I miss having a boyfriend. Not because of the actual boyfriend bit...but because I miss the contact. Sometimes I just want someone to sit, and hold me, and let me know that they're there. Just...there. With you. No expectations, no nothing just...the warmth that comes from that. Knowing that someone else is supporting you. I desperately miss that, and some days I'm terrified I'll never get that ever again. It leaves one with a bit of an ache.
So...hug a friend today. Like give them a good hug. Just for me. And all will be right with the world.
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